


say what you want

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternative Universe - Regular Setting, Fights, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 17:40:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6249295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s 2 a.m and there’s an idiot drunk on the streets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	say what you want

**Author's Note:**

> ahhahaha if ur wondering why this is so similar to ,,, any jinsons u may hav Read,,, in the Past,,, uhh, err,,, evrything is inspired by based around? [dollyeo's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dollyeo/pseuds/dollyeo) [works](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5539559) sighs. im really uncreative that's the point of this
> 
> o shit yeah, title from bts' Iconic 'Boy In Luv'

It’s two in the morning and when his phone starts to vibrate. He wakes up, because the rain gutter is right beside his window and it is _loud_ , and because his goddamn phone won’t _stop_ buzzing. He throws an arm out and pushes it off the bed. The thud is masked by the rain, but all it does it land face up, lighting up the entire room. Jinyoung sighs.

He goes to pick it up, there are 24 new messages.

-

From Jackson.

-

 **Luvofmy(boring)Life Jackson**  
**1:49 a.m**  
jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinyooooooooooognn

 **Luvofmy(boring)Life Jackson**  
**2:01 a.m**  
i miissn uuUUu

 **Luvofmy(boring)Life Jackson**  
**2:02 a.m**  
didyu o knw o

 **Luvofmy(boring)Life Jackson**  
**2:02 a.m**  
i jsutb felk of my C haiiiirrrrrRTTT

 **Luvofmy(boring)Life Jackson**  
**2:03 a.m**  
I F U WER HE R U WU D L A GH 

-

It’s 2 a.m and there’s an idiot drunk on the streets.

-

Its 2:43 a.m and there’s a twenty three year old out on the street, holding an umbrella over his exfriend.

-

Pushing the door open when he hears the lock click, Jinyoung lets himself in first and doesn't bother waiting for Jackson to come in.

Jackson makes his way in a couple minutes later, the laces on his boots are a mess but Jinyoung doesn’t like shoes in the house. He knocks over three pairs trying to get his on the rack.

The tap's running in the kitchen, where Jinyoung is. Jackson follows him in, and Jinyoung hands him a glass. Their fingers don't touch.

-

Jackson’s laid out on his couch, body half asleep, brain half buzzing with thoughts of everything- when Jinyoung throws a pillow at him, and tells him to be out before he wakes up.

“Gone by morning,” Jackson repeats, voice coming out in a rasp. Jinyoung doesn't say anything else. He hadn't said more than five words to Jackson tonight. “Alright.”

-

Jackson’s still there in the morning. Jinyoung lies in bed, waiting for the snores to stop, waiting for footsteps to start, for things to start shifting on the counter and, for the door to be opened and closed with a final click.

His room starts getting lighter and lighter but Jackson never wakes.

Jinyoung gets up first, leaves the bed when Bambam texts him. They're meeting him at the cafe in ten minutes. He has ten minutes to get ready, ten minutes to kick Jackson out, ten minutes.

He changes his clothes, brushes his teeth, washes his face. Grabs his keys, and shuts the door with the thought, _maybe he'll be gone before I come back_.

He spent a good minute, in front of the door, looking at the figure asleep on the couch.

-

There's another thought, with Jackson lying on the couch- sunlight hitting him like that, his blonde hair looks like a halo spread over his pillow. The one time Jackson stays over, is the first time the sun's been out this week.

Too bad, Jinyoung turns away, opening the door, he likes rain better.

-

Bambam’s already at their table when Jinyoung arrives. It's by the window but neither of them, Bambam or Yugyeom, see him when he passes by. They're spread out against each other, Yugyeom with his legs stretched out under the table and arm curled loosely around Bambam’s shoulder. Bambam’s leaning back on it, head almost on Yugyeom’s.

Bambam sits up immediately when he sees Jinyoung. Yugyeom gives him a little wave, Jinyoung slides into the seat across from them. “Hi.”

-

The third time Bambam brings Jackson up, Jinyoung snaps. “Do you have to keep talking about him?”

“Oh come on, hyung,” Bambam says, drawing Yugyeom’s arm closer to him. “It's not my problem if you two are having issues, I can still talk about him.”

“No, if you do it just makes you an asshole.”

“Yeah,” Yugyeom says, leaning forward. “But, you're also just bitter hyung, and that's not our fault either.”

Jinyoung sighs into his coffee. Bambam shifts, pushing Yugyeom off him.

“Hyung, listen. It's not like Jackson is going to disappear off the face of the earth just because you’re trying to ignore his existence. We're part of the same group Jinyoung-hyung, he buys me food all the time and he's my friend too. I'm not going to stop talking about him just because you’re being petty.”

It's your fault anyways, is what isn't being said. Jinyoung ignores it like he's been ignoring Jackson's text this past week. With no acknowledgement and a spot on the back of his mind.

-

His coffee is cold and only half finished when Bambam and Yugyeom leave. It's twenty minutes past eleven and he's still stalling for time. Jackson should be out by now, it's been an hour that's enough time.

He sticks around for ten more minutes, still.

-

He doesn't see Jackson on the elevator, he doesn't see Jackson coming out of the door, he doesn't see Jackson inside.

But Jackson was here, his pillow isn't on the couch, the blanket is folded up, and the glass he drank from last night- Jinyoung sees when he steps into the kitchen, is freshly rinsed and resting on the counter. Jinyoung grabs one from the sink and washes it.

Jackson cleans up like a guest. Jinyoung sighs.

-

The apartment is always so much emptier without a second person around. Jackson used to hang around, _a freeloader to combat Jinyoung’s loneliness_ , he'd said. Back then, over a month or something ago, the TV would always be on and the left side of the bed always straight.

Jinyoung wonders, when he steps back into the bedroom- Jackson’s pillow on the left side of the bed, if Jackson was (is) lonely too.

-

Jaebum calls him after twenty years or something, and Jinyoung picks up the second time his phone vibrates.

Jinyoung pauses Netflix, sits up, dusting crumbs off himself. Jaebum says. “Yo.”

-

“Hey.”

“How're you holding up?”

“I'm fine. And you? Is engineering killing you yet? Is Youngjae?”

“No, Youngjae’s just an idiot, I'm fine. Good actually, just wondering about how you are without Jackson hanging around to combat your loneliness.”

“I’m fine. And I was never lonely.”

“Yeah,” there's a pause, a shift and a hiss of _ow! Nora!,_ then. “You were just alone.”

“Jaebum, is this why you called? To get me to talk to Jackson again? Take him back?”

“You’re making it sound overdramatic, it’s not like you two entangled in some sort of love affair.”

“Entangled love affair, nice.”

“Jinyoung.”

“Fine.”

“You know, I live all the way across the city. I can’t be there myself to make sure you’re not living off movies and convenience store meals. I can’t drag you out to make sure you actually go outside once in awhile.”

“I have a job, and I like movies. I could possibly like being reclusive, you should stop calling me so I can fulfill that dream. Let’s hang up now.”

“Jinyoung-”

“I wasn’t being serious!”

“Fine, but why won’t you take him back?”

“What if I don’t want to, what if I’m fine with having one less headache?”

“What’d he do in the first place?”

“Do you want to beat him up for me? Aww, Jaebummie that’s so sweet.”

“Jinyoung, just tell me why you’re fighting. What happened?”

-

On a Thursday night, after Jinyoung yelled and kicked Jackson out, finished an entire bottle of wine and left more and more slurred voicemails in Jaebum’s phone. Jaebum had called him back and asked what the happened, on Friday.

-

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

-

Mark listens. In the middle of a movie, Jinyoung pauses it and spends over an hour going off about how dumb it was of Jackson to text him. Mark doesn't do anything but listen and when Jinyoung finishes, Mark presses play. It's enough.

It's always enough because Jinyoung doesn't need people to take care of him, he just needs them to listen sometimes.

-

And sometimes, he needs them to tell him how full of shit he is. But not yet. Not yet.

-

The thing about Jackson, he hates- Bambam’s telling another story about them at a restaurant where there was an episode with the waitress or something, is that all his friends are Jackson’s friends. He stops listening after Bambam mentions Jackson, tuning it out in favour of the movie playing.

Bambam’s legs are on top of his, both of them on the opposite ends of the couch, and when he realizes Jinyoung isn't listening, he pokes Jinyoung with one of his freakishly pointy toes. Jinyoung slaps it away, but Bambam tells him to pay attention anyways.

“The movie's more interesting,” Jinyoung says, he's pushing Bambam’s feet off him, and drawing his own legs in.

Bambam doesn't let up. “Hyung it's English, do you even understand any of it?”

“That's the point of watching, isn't it? Now shut up and let me.”

Ignoring Bambam’s complaint of _hyuuuung~_ he turns the volume up. Bambam sulks the rest of the night and Jinyoung lets him.

-

Mark tells him, after he's already heard it from Bambam twice and Jaebum more than that, “I'm not choosing between you two. Honestly, Jinyoung why is everything a competition for you?”

Jinyoung, too shocked to answer, hadn't said anything. Mark never says anything.

-

Halfway through the second movie, Bambam looks up from his phone and asks. “Jackson-hyung says he stayed over the other night. Is that true? Why didn't you tell me?”

“You believe him right away?” Jinyoung doesn't turn away from the movie at all.

“Jinyoung-hyung, it's not about that. Why didn't you tell me?”

“Why do you trust him right away?” Jinyoung says, turning to him suddenly. “It's the same principle.”

The scene cuts the instant Bambam’s expression changes. The room is dark but Jinyoung still catches it.

Bambam speaks up. “Why is everything a competition to you? Why do you always have to be the most trusted, the most listened to? Why do you always have to be right? That's not fair hyung and honestly- what did Jackson-hyung even do? This whole time he's just been trying to give you space and he's apologized what, five or six times already? All he's trying to do is make you happy. But obviously that's not possible it? Of course not, you're Park Jinyoung, after all aren't you?”

Bambam’s gripping the pillow so tight his knuckles are white, Jinyoung’s eyes never leave the screen. “If that's what you think.”

-

“You're so goddamn full of shit.”

-

Jaebum says, after Jinyoung calls him, after Bambam leaves, after everything feels shit.

-

“You're so goddamn full of shit.”

-

Bambam says, after Jinyoung refuses to give him an answer. After both of them are so tense, the temperature is more like mid-December than early April.

But Jinyoung still doesn't give a shit, he's always at sub-zero.

-

Jackson texts him.

-

Jinyoung still hasn't changed the goddamn contact name, not after Jackson set it months ago. Not after Jinyoung stopped talking to him weeks ago.

-

 **Luvofmy(boring)Life Jackson**  
**3:47 p.m**  
are you ever going to reply to any of these

 **Luvofmy(boring)Life Jackson**  
**3:47 p.m**  
just tell me how the hell you want to me apologize I will just stop shutting me out asshole

 **Luvofmy(boring)Life Jackson**  
**3:57 a.m**  
Ah yes, the wonderful iPhone feature of seeing the read✔ comment thnx I needed that

-

Jackson shows up at his door. It's been approximately three and a half weeks and Jinyoung opens without checking to see who it is, because only one person knocks like that.

Jackson's leaning against the doorway and he doesn't ask to be let in and Jinyoung stands to the left of the entry but he doesn't invite him in either.

-

Jinyoung looks at him, green sweater he's worn a couple hundred times, sweatpants and

that goddamn expression.

-

“Will you stop being a dick?” Jackson says. Jinyoung doesn't say anything.

Jackson sighs. Jinyoung shakes his head slightly towards the living room.

Jackson looks at him.

-

Every time Jinyoung’s ever screwed up, every time they've clashed, every time anything has ever happened between them, Jackson's always been there with that expression.

Eyebrows lifted, mouth in a line and dead dead dead eyes, like he can't quite believe Jinyoung’s saying this, like he can’t believe Jinyoung's bringing this up again, like out of all the things Jinyoung’s done, he expected this to be different.

Jinyoung isn't anything but the same set of actions repeated over and over throughout time. So, screw you too Jackson.

-

“Isn't this a bit too much? You ignore my calls and messages and _me_ for weeks and now you're asking me in?”

-

Jackson’s just funnier, friendlier and better. He's everything Jinyoung has tried to be for years on end but Jinyoung isn't _nice_ , he's not _positive_ and he's not _good_ with people. Jackson is. He's everything Jinyoung isn't.

He doesn't even know how it even happened, they weren't supposed to end up friends not when Jinyoung avoided Jackson like plague during university. Not when their respective subjects had no cross over. Jaebum had been friends with him but Jinyoung only saw Jackson three times during that last year.

Then, university finished and Jinyoung thought he'd be done with being terrified of meeting with Jackson Wang. Instead, on his first day of living alone, back when Jaebum was only twenty minutes away, and Jinyoung month out of university, Jackson had taken a seat across from him at the frozen yogurt place Jinyoung doesn't go to anymore.

-

“Are you going to come in or not?”

-

When Jinyoung looks up, Jackson Wang is sitting across from him.

“Hi! Park Jinyoung right?” Jackson says, offering a small(?) grin. Jinyoung nods.

“Cool, hi. We went to the same university, I know Jaebum- you remember me right?” Jinyoung nods again, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into his mouth so he doesn't have to talk. He notices, not without some grief, that they bought the same flavour.

“Ok- uh! Yeah well, I'm Jackson Wang. Sorry I don't usually do this, it's just this is a new neighborhood and I don't know anyone. It’s kinda worrying.” Jinyoung nods again, mechanically swallowing his ice cream. Jackson gives him another smile, tighter this time- something in his eyes asking for Jinyoung to help.

Jinyoung says something, nodding through his ice cream. Jackson can take it how he wants. “Yeah.”

Jackson shoves some ice cream into his mouth, relaxing for the first time since sitting down. “It's _sooo_ bad, you know yesterday my landlady tried to measure my underwear? And then she gave me some kimchi, which was nice but then it's weirdly coloured and just suspicious cause she was going through my stuff yesterday as well. So I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it, do I eat it? What if I die?”

Jinyoung almost laughs, half a smile- too close to choking on his ice cream. Jackson beams.

Jinyoung doesn't smile back, but Jackson keeps talking.

-

Jackson enters.

-

They go back to the same places.

-

Jackson sits on one end of the couch and Jinyoung almost thinks this is normal.

God, he just wants it to be normal.

Jackson looks up at him, and motions to the couch. “Aren't you going to sit?”

Jinyoung sits.

-

They stay like that for a while, two feet apart on a three seated couch, not talking. Jackson’s tapping his foot, knee shaking up and down and Jinyoung is looking anywhere but him.

-

“God, where are your manners? Be a good host and offer me some food,” Jackson says, Jinyoung almost laughs.

“I don't think I have anything,” He gets up anyways, because he doesn't know what else to do. Jackson follows him into the kitchen, while he goes through the fridge Jinyoung leans against the counter and watches.

“You're right, you don't,” Jackson says, shoving past mostly empty containers and a pack of four week old cheese, he takes out a box. “What is this? Kimchi? Jinyoung, why is it _purple_?”

-

Jinyoung remembers, Jackson tagging along to Jaebum’s and Jaebum not minding at all.

Later, when they left Jackson dragged him over to his place which was only two blocks away from Jinyoung’s because- “Someone needs to help me figure out whether this kimchi is safe or not!”

The first thing Jinyoung had done, when Jackson grabbed the container out of the fridge was ask. “Why is it _purple_?”

Jackson had shrugged and put it in with the ramen. It wasn't that bad.

-

“It's not that bad,” Jinyoung says shrugging. Jackson looks at him, Jinyoung’s tone gets sharper. “You've eaten it before, you can't say anything.”

Jackson sighs, closing the fridge. He grabs Jinyoung’s keys off the counter- like it was any other time, and says. “Let’s go out.”

Jinyoung doesn’t say anything, not until they’re entering a restaurant and he grabs Jackson's arm and asks.

-

It's Jackson's birthday, and he’s sitting on Jinyoung’s couch like the best Jinyoung has to offer him _isn't_ the strawberry milk drink that Jaebum likes.

Jackson doesn't say anything when Jinyoung hands it to him, a small “happy birthday” along with it. It’s not anything at all.

When it's 11:51 p.m and Jackson's spread out on Jinyoung’s lap, looking up at him. Jinyoung meets his eyes and in the same breath, they speak.

“This is nice.”

“Why are you doing this?”

-

13 months later, he asks the same question like a new breath and it still feels the _same_.

The wind picks up just as Jackson turns around and it's such a strange moment, when his hair ruffles and he looks at Jinyoung, same careful expression, same hard look he had a month ago when Jinyoung kicked him out.

He can’t even remember what they were fighting about, but Jackson’s here and acting like it wasn't anything.

Jinyoung doesn't know when he's going to stop.

-

Jackson looks at him, shrugs. “You wanna go somewhere else?”

Jinyoung looks at him, there's nothing said when they make eye contact but it feels like everything is breaking free. He nods.

“Yeah. I don't want noodles.”

-

Jinyoung doesn't apologize, Jackson doesn't expect him too but it’s a nerve that keeps buzzing under his skin whenever Jackson is around.

Jackson's still not around-around like before, but Jinyoung’s half worried because he's getting there. He doesn't want Jackson to get there until he's said something, at least.

So, when Jackson knocks on his door, at half past eight on a Wednesday night- Jinyoung doesn't let him in.

-

He can hear Jackson's huff through the door, and he doesn't know what he wants to do, what he's doing. He doesn't know.

He opens the door, Jackson stops, Jinyoung walks out and closes it, something very final about the small click that follows with the lock closing. Jackson stares at him.

“Are you locked out now?”

Shit. “No.”

“D’you have keys?

Also shit. “No.”

“Then aren't you locked out?”

Jinyoung sighs, Jackson meets his stare exactly. “Shut up I have to say something.”

Jackson waits. Jinyoung stands against the door.

“So? Are you going to say something or?”

Jinyoung sighs. Jackson waits, all expectant and Jinyoung still doesn't know what to say.

He sits down, on the gross ugly carpeting outside his door and Jackson sits down across from him. Jinyoung’s legs are crossed, but Jackson has his laid out in front of him, toes poking Jinyoung’s knees and Jinyoung _still_ doesn't know.

“Hey,” Jackson says finally, the hallway light making his hair glow, Jinyoung looks at him.

Jinyoung looks at him. “Hi.”

-

They're still waiting for Jinyoung to speak. He still doesn't know how to say anything.

-

“I-”

“Yeah?”

-

Jinyoung’s got his legs spread out in front of him now too, wondering if Jackson can read the _sorry_ Jinyoung’s writing on his thigh.

Jackson catches it.

-

 

 

 

-

 

Jackson looks up at him. “It doesn't matter if you don't say it you know.”

“It does, don’t act like it doesn’t bother you,” Jackson is writing out _o-k_ on his leg. Jinyoung can't figure out what he's replying to.

-

“I don't know what to apologize about.”

“Everything is a good start.”

“Shut the hell up. I'm sorry for some things but not everything. Some of it was your fault too.”

“Yes, but I've apologized so much. Everything that's left is all on you.”

-

Jinyoung starts, eyes closed with Jackson's foot pressing into his thigh.

“I'm sorry, for kicking you out and never replying to your texts. For, being an asshole and being shitty. I'm sorry for whatever else you want an apology for too.”

Jackson’s foot nudges him, Jinyoung opens his eyes.

“See now that wasn't so hard was it?” Jinyoung is ready to hit him. He moves, Jackson lets himself be tackled. They fall to the ground, like eight year olds playing wrestling and not at all like twenty three year olds with jobs.

-

Jinyoung closes his eyes, arms in a grip tight around Jackson's middle, face pressed up against his ribs, breathing in and out.

Jackson’s arms around his shoulders, one leg wrapped around Jinyoung’s and his breath knocked out of him but still laughing, Jackson closes his eyes.

He breathes out.

-

Breathless breathless _breathless,_ Jackson kisses him on the floor like that and Jinyoung kisses back.

Dumb dumb _dumb,_ Jackson laughs all breathless and wonderful, it breaks the kiss and he bites Jinyoung’s lip by accident and

Jinyoung’s ready to sit up and punch him but Jackson’s grip around his shoulder pulls him down again and it's fine when he can't kiss Jinyoung again because he’s laughing too hard.

Jinyoung doesn't mind because he's laughing too and their faces are less than a centimeter apart.

They were leading up to this anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> l isten if you've read this u should just Go Read [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5539559) & [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4928794/chapters/11309497)(sighs it's unfinished) & the one that makes me Cry So Much [This](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5156195) idk man credit goes where credit is due and i've never left dollyeo a good comment but this was written purely because of how they write and how their jinson's and everything is structured- like i just love those pieces so much and honestly this isn't good enough for writing like that, but it is the best i have to offer


End file.
